Polygon

HINT! HINT!

2005-12-09T18:57:00.000-06:00

I just found out that Flying Saucer sells gift cards. Yes, please.

Brew's Clues - The adventure continues

2005-07-12T01:34:00.000-05:00

After posting about the renewed interest in brewing, I decided it was inventory time for the aspiring brewmaster. Siphon thingy, check. Big glass tub thingy, check. Big plastic tub thingy, check. Whizmo that makes the tub burp, check. Kit with malt, hops, and sugars, check. Instructions from kit. Ahem. I said, instructions from kit... no? Crap. I ran through the house looking for the instructions, moving as quietly as possible. I didn't want to wake anyone up. My insomnia shouldn't be a curse on everyone.

In my search for the instructions, I got another one of those "clarity moments". Everywhere you turn in the house is another hobby of mine that is on haitus. Still packaged golf clubs bought off ebay to try out the game, dusty volt meters and integrated circuit chips, calligraphy pens and bottles of dried ink, school books from an unfinished culinary degree, school books from an unfinished business degree, gardening supplies on top of dead seedlings, cookbooks with yellowed bookmarks marking recipes to try, shelves of unread books, shelves of half-read books, piles of notes from half started websites, french and italian and latin text books all barely opened, and a woodworking shop that exists solely as a repository of unused router bits.

All these things hold my interest, but I really need to pare down. Sometimes, I think my credibility runs a bit thin. When I bought my wood smoker, my wife asked "are you really going to use it?" To my credit, a year (or so) after I "had to have" the smoker, I started using it. And, if I may say so, I make a damn fine pork shoulder these days. Since then, I always point to it as the success story, like that somehow balances everything else. This is where the moment of clarity comes in. My wife is a very patient and understanding person. Sometimes she gets that resigned look, and sometimes she just gets a crooked smirk and shakes her head when I start something new. Well, one way to look at it is that's just another expression of love.

I love you too, sweetie. And thank you.

Bob versus Dennis

2005-07-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

My coworker & friend Bob has temporarily been posted to Pensacola to help with hurrican coverage. He has started a blog, Bob versus Dennis.

I asked him if I could have his copy of Age of Mythology CD if he got swept to sea, but the selfish man schlepped it with him.

GOOD LUCK, BOB!

Steve Jobs shot JFK

2005-06-11T20:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, that has nothing to do with this article. However, this drives home some great questions and spins some great threories. This is highly suggested reading. Somewhere around 3/4 of the way through reading, you'll start to get this far away look while you contemplate the future.

http://www.pbs.org/cringely/pulpit/pulpit20050609.html

I just wish OSX had the games that Windows has. Perhaps with intel chips, that'll start happening! That was one whopping great area the author didn't mention at all.

You'll always remember where you were

2005-04-27T10:18:00.000-05:00

The Sneeze is one of my latest 'must reads'. A recent memoir post, is a well written account of one childhood experience. I so relate.

Insomnia pays off

2005-04-27T04:41:00.000-05:00

I tried to go to sleep at a decent hour, but I just couldn't. Instead I got up, read a chapter and did my homework for Programming Languages class.

Then I started to go to sleep, but my nerves got the better of me. I signed on to my work email account and sent a few emails that I'd meant to send earlier.

Brain was still buzzing... so I read 104 pages of my history textbook and signed on to my Tennessee history class' webpage. I clicked on the "START TEST" button and 50 minutes later, voila, I've gotten a 96%. Wheeeee, open book tests RULE! I have now officially made enough points that I could blow off the final exam and still make a C. But I won't. I've got more than a chance at an A and, gosh darn it, I'm going for it.

Tech guy's lament

2005-04-26T11:25:00.000-05:00

From an email I sent my boss and a coworker:

SUBJ: User called to say website was slow

Doesn't Hallmark have a card to say, "sorry the system sucks, but don't call me. I can't do anything about it." Y'know, maybe with a picture of a puppy wearing a funny hat.

I'll never know what to say to users who call upon us to release this kickin' mojo we're holding back that'd make their jobs easier. 'Cause, y'know, I've got some. Oh yeah. I keep it the same place we've got the spare laser printers. ; )

Buzznet photos

2005-04-18T20:16:00.000-05:00

Of course, if Wil Wheaton does it, then so do I...

Having fun looking at photo blogs and have also started one at nashville.buzznet.com .

Oracle, PHP and Apache on Windows

2005-04-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

So, you've installed PHP, Apache and a SQL Net Client on your windows box. You've gotten php to work with oracle on the command line. You've gotten php to work with Apache. However, when you try using all three together, say to execute OCI_CONNECT in a php page served by Apache, you get an "undefined function" message. After looking at bulletin boards until your eyes ache, you decide that the rest of the windows world has the same problem and you'll never get the answer. Right? Wrong! Here it is...

If you write a short php page with phpinfo(); inside of it, you'll see that Apache thinks the php.ini file is inside \WINNT. Drop a copy of your php.ini file in that directory and restart apache. Voila!

Next time you're in Nashville, you can buy me a pint.

A night at the opera

2005-04-10T13:57:00.000-05:00

We went to see Carmen at TPAC, yesterday. The story, like a lot of opera, was boy meets girl, hell breaks loose, death and sadness, and then the curtain falls. It was great.

I'm glad that the prudish constituency of our fair burg didn't prevent Carmen from getting at least a bit sexual. Carmen's sexuality, especially her dances, were integral to the plot. Not to mention that the star, Lanya Chianakas, can sell sex just as well as she can sing. Wow!

I'm impressed with the attendance. The last Nashville Opera performance I went to was the Flying Dutchman. It was a special effects bonanza with great performances, yet playing to an almost empty theater. Last night's program mentioned that attendance was significantly higher lately and I can vouch for that. The place was packed. I'm very glad.

Production values:
The set was economical without being cheesy. If I could make only one change, the inn redress would have been stronger. Being the only indoor location it should have looked less like the streets.

The lighting was flawless in that it didn't draw attention to itself.

Keeping in great blogging tradition, I'll spend a moment to focus on ire and condemnation. You can skip it if you like. The good stuff was up above. So, without further ado...

Special places in hell
The one circle past purgatory with mild itching and the occasional pile award goes to:
The very tall man who sat in front of me. I spent a lot of time looking at this man's haircut rather than the stage. Posture be damned, please slouch. After intermission, the elderly couple next to us left, so we switched seats. I hope they didn't have an emergency, but it was cool to actually see the stage. Our seats, orchestra, center, row V is pretty awesome when aren't behind a Andre the Giant.

The ingrown toenails and watching Pauley Shore movies for eternity award:
The TPAC architect who designed each row to be a mere quarter-head change in depth from the next. I do understand the additional few inches times the number of rows would be significant. I don't care.

The furthest circle for which there is no Earthly equivalent award:
I'm glad that TPAC doesn't jam cell signals, because I'm often on call and seconds count in my line of work. I do have the courtesy to keep my phone muted. A soft vibration will alert me if someone calls. Someone else, however, had their phone set to a mega-loud-pop-jingle ringtone. They let it ring until it rolled to voicemail.

Shmaltz, Shtick, Beer.

2005-02-20T21:12:00.000-06:00

At Frugal McDougal's the other day, I found a beer I just had to buy. Not because I thought it would be good, but because of the label.

HE'BREW, THE CHOSEN BEER

After I stopped giggling, I paid the eight or so bucks for a six pack and went to a friends house. Of couse, the label got the appropriate response when I unveiled the purchase I'd made during the beer run. We drank a couple, not expecting anything to blog home about. But, can you believe it, I'd gladly buy this beer again. It had a nice nutty flavor and a short finish. It'd be nice with a cheese sandwich for sure.

The brewery is Shmaltz. From their website, I discovered that their product line is marketed with "shtick", but they do take their beer seriously. Runing through their site, you'll find a link to a video advertisement. It is titled, of course, "Two Jews walk into a bar".

Fat Pants

2005-02-07T21:51:00.000-06:00

I tried on a pair of my pants, previously known as "fat pants", today. I fit into the pants just about as well as I can fit into my son's. (See illustration.) It seems that I grew into them and then some.

Rather than buy another generation of fat pants, I'm declaring war. Or at least a nasty letter and a few resolutions. Alright, here we go... I've got 40 pounds to lose. It used to be only 30 pounds to lose. Before that, it was only 20. (Etc.) Looks like treadmill time. B(

No, seriously this time.

Happy 1st Birthday

2005-01-28T13:01:00.000-06:00

Our little one is 1 year old. The runaway hit from yesterday's presents is the Fisher Price Learning Table.

The only issue I have with the singing and flashing table is its version of the alphabet song. It seems to max out at "P". Hmmm, maybe there is a deluxe version? B)

The birthday celebration continued at the park, but it was too cold to stay very long. We went to Steak and Shake for dinner. This is where we discovered that our Lil' Man loves beans. Perhaps I should nickname him Brak.

Everything else I have to say is from the realm of cliche. But here goes... This little boy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Ever.

Now we just have to make it into and past the terrible twos. Wish us luck.

Update: (2/7/2005)
I found the little tab to pull that takes the table out of "demo" mode. It now sings the alphabet A through Z. Next time, it wants to sing with me. Obviously, it has never heard me sing before.

Miss me?

2005-01-26T13:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I hit a dry spell. It seemed like whenever I had a minute to blog that blogger was running at a crawl. Hence the lack of bloggage.

What is new...

1. Tomorrow my son will be 1 year old. I'll post a suitable entry later.

2. I'm taking two classes from MTSU via the web. These are the TN Board of Regents classes for Professional Studies, I.T. concentration. So far it is as usefull as a regular class, but without the driving. I've always been a book learner anyway. Wish me luck. More in a separate post later.

3. I'm stuck in eternal project hell at work. Unfortunately, this project-that-won't-die is an interruption of another project-that-won't-die.

4. My wife and I have caught a cold. We got it from our son. Ahhh, fun. At least we've gone a year before starting this giving tradition.

5. I am so freaking totally ready for Elder Scrolls: Oblivion to come out. Morrowing is such an emersive and fun game that I've got high hopes for Oblivion. The screen shots are out of this world. Hope they release a bit of the music as well. Morrowind's music is superb.

6. I am such a geek. I was preparing to install Fedora until I read Wil Wheaton's blog entry regarding debian. So, of course I had to start a download myself. I'm not ready to use bit-torrent, so I'm sticking with good ole FTP. Does that make me an unhip humbug?

7. I just realized that Valentine's is coming up and I haven't thought of something special to do for my wife. I better get on that. I've got a reputation to uphold!

The future is here

2004-12-13T01:32:00.000-06:00

I just finished Frederik Pohl's The Merchant's War. A great sequel to his superbly cowritten The Space Merchants.

The book deals with many things. Mostly, it deals with commercialism, consumerism, and addiction. An unholy trinity that is the cornerstone of western economy. The story is set in the far future and is a satiracal view of our advertising driven culture. I gotta tell you, the future is here. Just go one full day without seeing an ad. No? How about an hour? (While awake.) This would mean not surfing the web, no television, no magazines, no driving, no radio, no clothing with logos. You can't even go into a bathroom stall without seeing an ad. You'll pretty much have to go naked into the forest to avoid the barrage of corporate manipulation. Perhaps even then you can't get away.

It really has me wondering how much of my life is a conditioned response; programmed by Madison avenue. I checked my yahoo mail and there was an ad for xxxx-a-Cola with boincing bubbles. I saw the ad and I heard the jingle even though the speakers weren't on.

Anyway... on an unrelated note, I'm wondering if I should add Googles AdSense banner advertising to the blog. B)

Maybe not.

Modern joke telling, the CTRL F way

2004-10-01T09:41:00.000-05:00

I have broken most of my friends of the habit of forwarding me chain emails.

you're so 80's if
a prayer for you
boycot such-and-so because they support
this is a true story
pass this on and send it back
whimsical and inspiring photos of small animals
jokes with fifty greater-thans in front of the text

I started my campaign to staunch the friendly fire spam several years ago. I hurt some feelings.

Today, I found a fairly good joke while web-surfing. I thought about cutting and pasting it into an email and sending it to a friend. (Note that. I wasn't going to send it to everyone I know.) I decided not to. However, for your reading pleasure...

George W. Bush meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Bush frowns. "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her Intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Yes, my Queen?" The Queen smiles. "Answer this for me, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me." "Yes! Very good," says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush asks to speak with vice president Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!" Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!" Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and to speak with Bush. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

World's worst bread recipe

2004-09-23T23:55:00.000-05:00

From the land of good idea, bad idea:

We like making bread, so I was intrigued when my wife brought home a ziploc baggie with a yeast colony inside. It is kinda like keeping sea monkeys with really bad gas. Although you can't see them, they make a lot of bubbles. I imagine it being something like the Blazing Saddles scene with cowboys eating beans around the camp fire. Only smaller.

Attached to the baggie was a recipe. The zerox showed signs of being a hundreth generation copy of instructions for yeast care and the making of "Amish bread". In part, the recipe asks you to do several silly things. The recipe calls for instant pudding as well as baking soda. Further, there is absolutely no rise time given for the dough. Good grief. Somebody call Shirley Corriher!

Why would you use an alternative leavener in a yeast bread? Probably to compensate for a recipe that has you add yeast to a dough mixture and immediately flop it into a hot oven. I can't even begin to fathom the vanilla pudding. In all fairness, we tried the recipe as is, and it isn't a bad quick bread recipe. I still shudder at the methodology.

Work is under way at the J household to formulate a better recipe that truly utilizes the yeast and also makes a damn fine loaf. Stay tuned to this blog for the results!

Ah, corporate life.

2004-09-23T23:24:00.000-05:00

It is possible to think of having a corporate parent as having a codependancy with a parasite. We've been wallowing under the weight of a non-competitive, crap-ass public facing software which is mandated by the corporate parent. Plus we have to pay out the nose for the privelege. Better yet, the software is a red-headed stepchild of a department that basically answers to no one.

Today a couple of analytical folks came in from corporate to hear our complaints. Their promise is to help design a new version of the system based on interviewing local sites. Except, they've already designed it and will complete coding in a couple months. The new version theoretically debuts in January. They even have documentation.

In the meantime, I face the prospect of all the hacks and workarounds I made becoming useless in January. Oy.

I've got that damned Queen song running through my head now.

2004-09-23T01:18:00.000-05:00

Got a book about Macromedia Flash from the library to augment one that I bought. Finally got enough keyframing, button doodling, action-scripting done to make Flash connect to my hosted PHP app and return live data via XML. Yippeee. Now, I just have to keep chanting "Keyframe = State" to keep my sanity while sketching the program.

I truly hate the design environment. Learning the shortcut keys and trimming down the number of open panels has helped. But, damn! I could really stand a two monitor setup, right about now.

2004-09-20T23:46:00.000-05:00

And so begins year 30...

A follow up on the rest of my birthday...

Grammy came over and took care of Nate while Mrs. J and I went out for my birthday dinner. A few friends convened at Miyako where I consumed some pretty darn good sushi. Most impressive about Miyako was the service. After Shogun's service has gone downhill, I'm glad to find a new place within a reasonable distance. I look forward to going back.

Retired to a friends house for some rum and video games. At first I didn't want to go. I was tired and simply wanted to go to bed, but I didn't want to seem like an un-fun schmoe. I'm glad I went. Didn't quite get so much to drink that I required burritos. Maybe next time. I did try to explain XML-RPC while tipsy. Hopefully I didn't stray too much. What a crazy guy, eh!

And many more

Mrs. J came home with a "how to write your own will" book.

2004-09-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

Birthday Boy!

Can I still be the birthday boy if I'm having my 30th? Well, this is my birthday, and I can be the birthday boy if I want to.

So far, today has been great.

Woke up briefly for a "Happy Birthday" and kisses from my wife before she headed to work.
Nate slept till 8, so I got an extra couple hours of sleep.
Checked work email and didn't have 50 new items requiring me to telecommute on my day off. (This could change, cross your fingers.)
Caught up reading my favorite blogs / websites.
Medeasin,
Big Arm Woman,
Dan Appleman,
Penny Arcade

2004-09-12T20:11:00.000-05:00

A not so unique blog entry

Once before I blogged about folks who call me up and say "who is this" when I answer. Or, to quote the person who just called more accurately, "hoo dif".

This happens enough that I have a pat answer. "Whaddya mean who is this? You're the one who called me. Who are you?" This usually irks the person calling. Good!

Tips on placing a call
So, you're placing a telephone call. Once a person has answered the line, try doing one or more of the following:
1. Identify yourself
2. Ask for the person you are calling
3. In many cases, it is reasonable to state your reason for calling.

The world would be a slightly nicer place if this were the norm.

Thank you, and goodnight.

2004-09-05T13:47:00.000-05:00

Do I amuse you?

Evidently, I do things that amuse the folks around me. Unfortunately, I'm not trying to be funny. I'm just being myself. This is really starting to give me a self image approximate to Buster Keaton's on screen persona.

Like a couple of days ago at the lunch table. I was explaining my idea for peelable primer for drywall. This would be for folks who like to test drive a paint color or who like to change their decor often. Makes perfect sense to me. Why did my companion start laughing and declare how funny I was?

Just now, the impetus for this blog entry was my wife's amusement by one of my daily rituals. I've started taking a daily vitamin. I've always drunk coca-cola once or twice a day. So why is it funny when I take my vitamin while drinking my coke?

Will someone please let me in on the joke I just told!

2004-09-05T11:55:00.000-05:00

New office decor

Every so often, I pet-sit for a friend. In return, I get a few nice gifts and -- by request -- a tacky one. Normally she vists the beach and brings back a mermaid themed piece of tackiness. This time the trip was to Santa Fe. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...

Cactus Cowgirl

...and I love it!

2004-09-03T23:52:00.000-05:00

Seventy-seven channels and I only watch three or four

We've been trying to figure out cost cutting measures. The first thing to go is cable tv. I'll miss Food TV, Bravo, Cartoon Network, and the all Hitler channel. (Ooops, I meant A&E)

I would have included Tech TV, but they really went to the crapper quite a while back. Screen Savers was good when it was just Leo and Kate, then rocked with Leo and Patrick. It really was the anchor for the network. As with all media companies, marketing pressures caused the network to bungle things while trying to meet schizophrenic goals. Anime, Unscrewed & the annoying teenie-boppers were all marketing failures. Yet, some folks higher up the food chain surely made a big load of cash selling off the failure they created. Y'know, I'm not saying that Martin Sargent killed Tech TV. I'm just saying that how they used him was a symptom of bad, bad planning. I mean, if they wanted edgy and to entice a larger youth audience, they could've gotten with the Penny Arcade guys and licensed a bunch of 15 minute shorts featuring Gabe and Tycho. I'm just sayin'.

Oh, guess I kinda got onto a rant. Sorry, back to the main topic...

The things is, we don't really watch channels anymore. We watch the shows that happen to be on those channels. If there were one channel that had Stargate, Monk, Horatio Hornblower, Inspector Morse, Alton Brown, Paula Deen, Tyler Florence, Tales of the Gun, Mail Call, West Wing, Six Feet Under, Family Guy, Futurama, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then my remote control would only need an on/off button. Yeah, I'd be happy to pay for that channel. Just not $50+ a month.

Maybe now I'll actually cook, instead of watching a cooking show. Wacky, huh!

2004-08-24T22:46:00.000-05:00

Comments section active again

Anyone got a match

After a blogging haitus, my comments were deleted by backblog. They are a free service so I can't complain.

Blogger has their own comments now. I don't like them as much as typepad's or movable type's comments. But, techno geek that I am, I'm also lazy and into convenience. Blogger's comment system is here and a point-click install. Voila.

Let the flames begin.

2004-08-21T17:24:00.000-05:00

Fistfull of sunshine

Sitting in the office watching my little boy crawl around. Every so often, he stops and tries to grab spots of sunlight off the floor. Then he moves along, continuing the exciting life of a seven month old on the prowl.

2004-08-21T00:41:00.000-05:00

I guess it was time

I've had my current wallet for at least 18 years. I inherited it from my grandfather. He had it for quite a while before that. The pocket that holds id and credit cards finally wore through and I'm bummed out.

Yes, this is a mundane post. However, I gotta tell you, this is a major moment for me. I mean, this thing has been riding against my ass for almost two decades. I'm far more likely to notice when it isn't in my pocket, than when it is. I guess I'll buy another one. I do have to wonder... will the wallet bend to conform to my butt, or will it be the other way around?

2004-07-31T15:35:00.000-05:00

Fever update

No, not blogging fever. I habitually check my temperature when I'm sick. I feel my license to act like a fussy baby is eponentially enhanced by my temperature.

My blood temp. is 100.2 degrees F at present. That is with Tylenol coursing throughout the vessels! Through carefully controlled scientific means, I'm currently licensed to affect a mental age of 5. (I get to adjust my score since my temp is normally 98.4) Yippee. Heaven help my wife.

If it weren't for this, I'd be downtown for the annual Music City Brewer's Festival. T'was great fun last year. Oh well, there is always next year.

But the really hard part
The hardest part is not being able to hug and carry around my six month old son. I settle for teasing him from across the room. This works for a while. Then he wants me to cuddle. Whimpering from both Daddy and boy abound for the next few minutes. Once again, heaven help my wife. I'll need to do something special for both of them when I'm well again.

2004-07-31T13:47:00.000-05:00

From the ashes

I've been meaning to blog for a while now. Today, my inner curmudgeon has been goaded from retirement. After all, blogging is all about venting ire and spewing venom, right?

Okay, one of the reasons I quit blogging was a "if I don't have anything nice, I won't say anything at all" mantra. So, after this next item, I promise, I'll make 75% of my posts happy or thoughtfull or both. The remaining 25% are free to be as bitchy as ever. Deal? Well, okay then.

J, the irritable support guy

We have a great system at work. I wish folks used it correctly. If you have a tech issue, you call the hotline number. 24hours a day, it will page the guy on duty. We try to respond accordingly and with all due speed.

There I was, at home. Sick and in a feverish sleep. This guy from work skips the support line and calls my home phone and my cell phone back-to-back. Wow, this must be earth shatteringly important, right? Wrong. I'll paraphrase the issue...

Someone had an issue with a password 12 hours ago. They aren't here now and they won't be back for a while.

When I asked him to please call the support line for non-emergency issues, I was rebuffed. It was my fault, the user explained. If I took my home number out of the company directory, he couldn't call me. Gee, I guess there is a logic to that. Much like that joke that goes, "no, your Honor, I didn't shoot at him. He happened to be standing where I was shooting at."

This was less of an issue today than other days when people direct dial my home number at midnight and wake up my family.

Stargate

With the Buffy and Angel series gone, the household has a scfi/fantasy related entertainment space to fill. Can Stargate SG1 or Stargate Atlantis fill the void? We'll see. Both series have enough comedy to entertain and (thankfully) they shorthand a lot of the technobabble.

SG1
SG1 has made a few changes. Behold...

SG1 before: We watch a team go to a forest planet, rescue some natives, avoid a diplomatic misunderstanding at the last minute, grab a new gizmo and go home

SG1 after: we get to watch O'Neil struggle with command decisions AND a team go to a forest planet, rescue some natives, avoid a displomatic misunderstanding at the last minute, grab a new gizmo and go home. And Teal'C has hair.

Don't get me wrong. I like Stargate. I like the changes. If you're waiting for "but", then stop. I like it. I can make fun of it and still like it, right. After all, the first to make fun of Stargate is Stargate itself. Believe me, after they make us swallow a load of technobabble, they apologize. Unlike another franchise I won't name.

Atlantis
Atlantis lacks of Richard Dean Anderson. Their equivalent is just fine, but with both series on the air, he'll O'Neil's mini-me will continually live in big compaison. Either that or the writers will expand on what makes this guy different than O'Neil. Until then, lets keep rolling with the "we'll name it later" jokes. I love those.

I can't help watching Atlantis without drawing comparisons. For example, the village people (ahem, I mean Athosians) remind me a lot of Earth2 and Galactica.

Mostly, I keep comparing Dr. Kavanaugh and Dr. McKay to LOTR's Merry and Pippin. I mean, with lines like "I'm feeling something. Yeah, its definitely lunch related" and McKay's constant munching, there is a definite hobbitesqe comic-relief vibe when they are together.

Speaking of Merry, er, Dr. McKay. I really like the character. David Hewlett performs the character perfectly. Without Hewlett's care, the character as written would simply be a smart but decidedly acerbic candy-munching chump. Instead, he is carrying a large percentage of the show. I like the character enought that I don't mind.

A big plus for Atlantis is their continuation of SG1's self-deprecating humor. I'll give it time to see if the other characters and plot points flesh out. So far, I'm looking forward to the next episode. That in itself, is high praise for any show.

2004-01-04T02:00:00.000-06:00

(not so) Private eyes are watching you

Here is an MSNBC report regarding two Portland nightclub patrons using camera phones to document what they perceived to be a racist insult. (A toy monkey strapped to a patrol car. I don't get it, but I'm not to well versed in such matters.)

The article also documents a teen using a camera phone to record a would be abductor's identity. The article works in a quick mention of illegally taped naked folk in the lockerroom. It also quotes one man as saying that "...with these cell phones, Big Brother has turned into Little Brother..."

A related article in PC World documents growing concern over camera phones. It includes the privacy warnings about locker rooms and indicates that some places are considering an all out ban on cellphones in certain places. It suggests that some companies are working on cell cameras that turn off when they enter certain "sensitive places".

Oddly, the PC World article includes this snippet... " In Japan, people have been arrested for taking photos up women's skirts (which is also illegal in parts of the U.S.)" It does this without indicating whether camphones were used to take the photos. The article ends with this ominous line, "Today, however, discretion is left to individual judgment. "

And now, since you've waited so patiently for my opinion....

There are so many angles I find wrong with this picture. It'd take a hell of an essay to work them all in. I'll need to just work with bullet points on this one.

The camphones only add instantaneous results to the equation. It'd mean the difference between your pimply ass in the shower being live or memorex. Anyone taping or snapping pictures clandestinely will have the device hidden. Banning cellphones simply bans cellphones.
I'll never buy a cellphone that turns off when I'm in a "sensitive place." Besides, if the signal won't turn off a regular camera, why bother? This is an example of big brother controlling the afore mentioned "little brother". Further, if you are breaking the law, you are likely to have specially rigged equipment that ignores the electronically enforced privacy zones.
These aren't the only articles I've seen regarding camera phones and privacy issues. Why do some topics spread like wildfire? I've got my theories and it can boil down to this... sometimes syndication and wire services are the devil.

2003-11-29T05:08:00.000-06:00

Oh. My head!

A new law requires that all television tuners accept a copyright flag. Information transmitted with the flag would be "protected" by the television or attached recording devices. (Currently the bill calls for enforcement for information broadcast via airwave only.) The supposed protection is to keep people from trading high definition copies of television programs over the internet. Are they insane? Will anyone really want to download last night's Leno uncompressed? It'll take half a day to get the episode. Even if they could, why in the hell should the network care? Didn't they broadcast it unencrypted over the airwaves so audiences could see the interspersed ads? Hell, they should encourage trading and gouge the advertisers even more.

Perhaps they are more worried about the DVD sales of shows like Friends or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. They shouldn't. Anyone who wants to watch Babylon 5 on something larger than a 2 inch wide, jagged pixel mpeg will buy the DVD anyway. Anyone who won't pay for the DVD also won't care if the quality is less than stunning. Beggars can't be choosers. They'll also lose their eyesight from squinting.

I'm sure there is something more sinister going on. I just wish I knew what it was. Any ideas?

2003-11-14T16:48:00.000-06:00

blah

Ever wake up wishing you were too sick to go to work. I'm not talking about faking it. I mean, have you ever found the idea of strep throat more appealing than leaving the house and dealing with other people? The past little while I have. Even my friends and loved ones.

Finally, just a moment ago, it hit me. I've been feeling grumpier since daylight savings took over. Stupid me, I figure this out sometime in November each year.

2003-11-08T21:48:00.000-06:00

I've got crabs

Yep, went to the local aquarium store in beautiful downtown Donelson and got myself some crabs. I also got a plecostomus. I'm finally ready to get back into the swing of things after the massive die-off months ago. Basically, I was holding off until the final two died, in case they were carrying a disease. Since they haven't, I'm going to slowly build up the aquarium again.

The crabs are very active and fun to watch. The folks at the store warned me that they try to escape the tank, but they don't get far since they dry up and die. Hey, for two bucks a pop, I can deal with that. I'd pay up to four bucks if it freaks out the cat.

2003-10-26T09:31:00.000-06:00

Whatever happened to the evil mistress of Weakest Link?

Anne Robinson has been travelling the U.S. making a documentary. (The gators didn't get her. Professional courtesy, y'know.) Her column in The Telegraph details a small bit of it. In all, most of her commentary seems interesting and shows her to be an introspective person. Sometimes her acid tongue is fun.

I wonder if the documentary will be about her journey and its locations, or about a trip with her daughter. Hopefully the latter, since she seems to have done an awful job as a tourist.

"...from Myrtle Beach to Charleston, from Savannah to Nashville, in relentless sunshine and mostly 90 degrees of heat, it's a punishable offence to serve any food without a disgusting coating of sweet, smoked, garlicky glup on top and that all coffee tastes like sewage. Indeed my only crumb of comfort would be discovering that, with a travelling kettle and a diet of Blend 37, hard-boiled eggs and chocolate chip cookies, you can lose half a stone in no time at all."

This leads me to ask certain questions. Did she always stop at McDonald's and order the McRibs? I recently traveled from South Carolina to Nashville and not once did I have anything covered with smoke sauce. (uhm, okay. There was that Arby's sandwhich, but that was fast food from a national chain.) I cringe to think that what will certainly be a popluar documentary may portray only the worst of the worst. If she only experienced bad food in the South, then she certainly didn't try very hard. That really is a pity.

To quote Tom Leher, "Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends upon what you put into it."

2003-10-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

Staying awake today

It is a cloudless day, but somehow still gray. The tinted windows on my office don't help. A low bass hum is emanating from the mechanical room across the hallway. If I drink coffee now, I'll be awake till 4a.m. Perhaps an all nude marching band will come by. Short of that, does anybody have suggestions for staying alert without sabotaging sleep later?

2003-10-13T19:03:00.000-05:00

Happy cat, ugly chair.

Frankie the cat obviously has a rough life!

2003-09-25T23:26:00.000-05:00

Ouch

Typing this with one and a half hands in working order. I'm kinda babying my left thumb and forefinger. A homemade caramel sauce goes great over desert. However, whilst making it, please avoid dumping it over your hand. Lemme tell ya, this stuff is Hot I now have several raised oblong blisters rising over a landscape or fuschia skin.

A small indicator of how much I love food

I still managed to make whipped cream, top sauted pears with the sauce and eat more than my fair share. (In between pathetic pleas for "poor baby" attention, that is.)

I'd be dead before the intro is over

A couple nights ago, I felt like I'd been chain smoking while running a marathon with a boa constrictor wrapped around my chest. Knowing that I'd been sitting quite still for an hour, this caused me some concern. While talking with a friend, I got up to get a book and almost collapsed. I begain using google to find anything related to tight chest and rapid heartbeat. Chest Pain Perspectives is one of the first hits for "Chest pain". "Hmmm, with 'perspectives' as part of the title, this should give different reasons for what I'm feeling," I thought.

For a big laugh, imagine yourself in agony trying to decide if you need to go to the emergency room. Now visit their site.

Ever heard of costochondritis

No? Neither had I. In short, it is an inflamation of the cartilage between your ribcage. (In my case, causing extreme shortness of breath, not too mention a small deal of panic) Although quite painfull, this is usually a 'bark worse than the bite kinda thing'. It clears up on its own a high percentage of the time. Not one !#@#ing reference to chest pain I found mentioned it.

A trip to my new doctor and a $20 copay later, I'm much relieved.

A heart attack
Hiatal Hernia
Heartburn (I've never had heartburn that bad, have you?)
Costochodritis

We rely too much on electronics

User: "I had to ask the guy to call back later. I couldn't take notes because my mouse wasn't working."
Me (internally): And? Was your pen broken too?
Me (aloud): I'll take care of that right away.

2003-08-17T09:53:00.000-05:00

Hey Microsoft!

I've got this crazy idea. Maybe I should run to the patent office. Ready? Okay.

This new virus that affects Windows XP/2000/NT is pretty awesome. (Put down the knife, I meant that in a bad way.)

It spreads like wildfire by scanning for machines that have a specific security flaw. That flaw allows the virus to run any programs it wants on the other computer. Any programs at all.

In response, Microsoft issued a small program as a bug fix for computers with the security flaw. My colleagues and I had to scurry around and run a program on hundreds of machines at work. We had to recall laptops from the field. We had to chase down any computer that had the problem and run the bug fix program. I'm getting requests from home users to show them what to do at home. This is a major time consumer.

Now for my idea. If the virus can locate susceptible computers and run any program on it, why can't MS write a patch that does the same? (This question answered in a bit.) Or someone else, for that matter? Why doesn't someone write a "virus" that exploits the security flaw long enough to fix it?

Why they don't.

Among various other reasons, I bet Microsoft doesn't write a pre-emptive anti-virus because the bug patch forces you to do a few things. Things that make the folks at MS dance a happy little jig. Some people have avoided upgrading their Win2k clients to avoid additional restrictions listed in the new MS EULA. (End User Liscense Agreement) To run the patch, you have to void your previous agreement and go with the new one.

Hey Hackers!

Thinking about writing that next big virus to show Microsoft who has the bigger weenie? DONT!

Corporate America won't lose faith in MS. People never think smart when in groups. They'll just keep paying us IT folks overtime to patch machines.

Writing a virus will waste my time and yours. You'll also end up giving Microsoft a way to force users to upgrade.

2003-08-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

What the voices in my head say...

Walking into work from the parking lot yesterday, I thought to myself...
"I should hurry up and blog. Y'know blogging is letting people in on one's internal dialog."

"I don't think that is correct. You mean, monologue, don't you," argued a nagging thought.

Based on that, I'm thinking I'll stand with the first phrasing.

Say it ain't so

According to The Tennessean, Slow Bar is closing. I only went there when visiting folks in that area, but it was a fine place. If I had an endless supply of money, I'd buy it and keep it going. As it is, I've got to save my money because...

The stork is coming

Sometime in mid-January there should be a brand new person in the family. A whole new generation to be indoctrinated into my families quirky ways. I don't care which gender it is, I just want a healthy child. We'll find out the gender during the ultrasound next month.

Drat my bad timing

I completed my first culinary course at Nashville Tech and had a great time. The instructor (and also department head) Ken Morlino was great. Unfortunately, I didn't act quickly enough to get into the fall class I wanted. Spring is right out with the newborn on the agenda. I'll try again next summer. Did I mention I got an A?

2003-08-01T13:59:00.000-05:00

P'tooey. Gack. Thhhtppt.

In a desperate attempt for productivity (or even keeping my eyes) open at work I've gotten some coffee from across the street.

Be warned that the coffee at the Tigermart with a picture of blueberries is (imho) nasty. Always wanting to try something new doesn't always pay off. Yick.

2003-05-23T22:59:00.000-05:00

Since I've nothing else to blog about recently...here are some links

Amazing Site
Nobodyhere.com is an amazing site. Just keep clicking exploring!

Onion makes me laugh till I cry
This article in The Onion, makes me laugh.

2003-05-18T17:59:00.000-05:00

Giggle of the day

Just installed Redhat 9 and I'm impressed so far. A small laugh while checking the browswer... A website gave me a pop up ad declaring "Windows detected" and offered to patch Microsoft security holes. Y'know they could at least check browser and OS before spamming me.

2003-05-07T22:46:00.000-05:00

My life as a Hobbit in training

A perfect day
I love taking a day off for no reason and today was a perfect day for it. I gardened, ate, cooked, ate, read, listened to music, mowed the lawn, ate, and didn't edge one foot off my little plot of land.

Culinary adventures, the only adventures a hobbit in training needs!
Wonka I'm not... I made chocolate truffles today. My first time playing with chocolate beyond simple baking. This time wasn't so great, but I definitely learned a few things. Next time I'll let the ganache harden a while before even starting to melt chocolate for the shell. Made one batch with Kaluah and one without. Both yummy.

Iron Chef, not exactly Last night was my second attempt at sushi.
Commonly but incorrectly thought of as raw fish, the word sushi actually means "seasoned rice". A popular variation of the seasoning consists of rice vinegar with sugar added and diluted with water.

Sushi vocabulary, lesson one...
Maki	Sushi made into a roll surrounding the other ingredients, then portioned into medallions
Nigri	Sushi rice formed into a shape then topped with the other ingredients,
Nori	The thin seaweed wrapper used to help hold ingredients.
Damnit	Exclamation made by amature while trying to slice the roll.

I am definitely getting better. This time the rolls looked much better. I've been using grated carrot as my filling to save money. Now that I've gotten better, I'll move up to smoked salmon. I'll save the raw stuff for the pros.

2003-05-03T04:26:00.000-05:00

One can dream

If you ever want to know what to get me for Christmas. Click here.

Be seeing you.

2003-05-02T22:48:00.000-05:00

Number one reason to procrastinate...

I just yelled from my bedroom window to get my neighbors attention. It took a while although he was just a few feet away. You see, I had to scream above the sound of the chainsaw he was playing with. I watched him as I was banging on the window and yelling. He was simply staring at the chainsaw as he was starting it, running it awhile, then stopping it. Start, run, stop, repeat.

I informed him that it was past ten and that my wife was trying to sleep. He put the chainsaw down and began an explanation of why he was using it. I'm not sure what the reason was, but I do know that he was stoned. Just think, if I'd waited a few minutes the problem might have been solved permanently.

I love my home, but sometimes my neighbors make me want to pack up and move. Resolution: My next home must have at least 100 yards between neighboring homes.

2003-04-30T23:20:00.000-05:00

A night at the opera

Last Saturday, my wife and I drove to Clarksville to see The Marriage of Figaro at Austin Peay. One of her coworkers was the title character. I must say that for $6 a seat, it was a deal. If I lived in Clarksville, I'd regularly attend. The true highlight of the evening was the young lady who played the countess. She is a jewel and I hope to hear her sing again.

General Notes:
For the budget, the sets were adequate. A few simple changes could have drastically improved the stage lighting, which was flat and dull. I award high marks for the stage direction. The play between the trio of the Countess, the Page, and Susanna worked particularly well. The other performers were far better than I'd expected, though a few sang too softly. I sometimes strained to hear them above the orchestra. This was their first production to use supertitles and they were greatly appreciated. The auditorium was easy to find, parking ample, and seating reasonably comfortable. Remarkably, the 20 or so children in attendance were very well behaved! All in all, I had a great time.

2003-04-18T17:24:00.000-05:00

The quickest way to my heart

In the midst of a frustrating day, I've taken sanctuary in a vacant office. I've stolen a moment in the name of passion. Not just any moment of the day, but 4:30. Not just any day, but friday. Not just any office, but an office especially equipped for the affair with a television. Jacques Torres is on Food TV. Today he is making a chocolate sculpture for Easter. He just got done making white chocolate "straw" to fill the chocolate "wood crate" he made. Yes, I think I'm in love.

2003-04-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

Calling Miss Manners.

Alternately titled, Yet another anonymous blogger who wants to tell you how you ought to behave

I answered my cellphone, which is a business phone. "This is J, may I help you."

The voice on the other end replied with a question, "Who is this?"

Far too used to this situation, I gave my stock answer. "Whadd'ya mean, 'who is this'. You called me. You tell me who you are?" It turns out someone incorrectly paged a salesman with my number.

For those who are perplexed... when calling someone, especially dialing someone for a business call, it is polite to announce who you are and why you called. So, for the two or three people who read this entry... I ask how common it is that you receive calls from people demanding to know who it was that they called?

2003-04-15T01:18:00.000-05:00

I spoke too soon

Having mentioned backblog for commenting must have cursed them. They seem to have disappeared. I've signed up for a different commenting system, since I do like getting comments. How very frustrating!!!

2003-04-13T23:34:00.000-05:00

Is it getting hot in here

The most popular websearch that leads people to this blog is "walgeens sucks". One such search lead a person named Howard here tonight. The result: I just got my first flame! Woohoo. I was getting worried it would never happen. See folks, this is why blogger needs to make commenting a standard component. If I hadn't recently installed the "backblog" commenting scripts, I'd never have gotten this feedback. It makes my day. Here is the text...

Howard () @ 04/13/2003 21:09:
Ya know..I'm trying to figure out what art of WA you're in because you talk about walgreens saying that they have a blood pressure machine. NO walgreens has a blood pressure cuff machine!!! Saying dumb ass crap like "The computer says you're not a woman" The computer dosen't make comments...nor does it second guess a PharmD. I really think you work for Target and decided to try and slam the number one chain. Walgreens is number one because we are the best in the industry. Time and again we have proven this. The fact that you decide to slam us well...it's just pathetic. Anyone who works or knows about walgreens sees through your crap. How sad I am for you.

Well, Howard, I can't reach you to give you the answers since you didn't give me an email address. If you check back, here is my reply.

Dear Howard,
I'm in Nashville, TN. I'm sorry if I somehow caused this confusion, but it explains why you are having trouble locating me in Washington. Please accept my deepest apologies for muddling my location by making numerous references to Nashville throughout the page and none to Washington (this post excluded). Oh, wait... that isn't confusing at all. You must think the internet is a Microsoft product and only runs a few miles surrounding Redmond. Bill Gates is very, very pleased with this.

The walgreens here in Nashville do have blood pressure cuffs. The one I visited in Donelson did inflate, deliver an ad, then give me a reading. The one in Bellvue did lose my prescription. The one in Green Hills did deny my wife birth control because the advanced computer system has safegaurds against possibly bad prescriptions. Seeing as a simple code for gender was incorrect, the computer did the proper thing. Of course it didn't "make a comment", the mindless counter jockey did that. In each case, the failure to please comes from decisions made by people. Bad decisions leading to poor customer service. Perhaps these decisions stem from a regional office and are not part of the entire chain. Maybe the corporate headquarters will allow money either for bloodpressure machines or for qualified employees. This tradeoff would explain the contrast between your walgreens and mine. With this hypothesis, I will amend my previous statement. It is my opinion that the walgreens I have visited in middle Tennessee do not meet my expectations as a consumer. In short, I think they suck. They suck, suck, suck. They are the plecostomus of pharmacies.

I don't work for a pharmacy, nor for Target. I am only a patron. So far, I've been quite pleased with Target. If you prefer less bias, I can mention another good place for prescriptions. The Medicine Shoppe is fantastic. Operating under a fascinating new concept, it specializes in Medicine. They don't need an extensive convenience mart to browse while waiting an hour for your prescription. No sir, not a single decaying boxes of Russel Stovers in sight! I'd go there if it wasn't for Target being a normal stop and a bit closer to my home.

I have no problem believing that Walgreens is number one. You find them every few miles! I suspect this will change since they've started competing with themselves and Krogers (a popular grocery chain) is making a big push with their pharmacies. I tell ya, between Krogers, Walgreens, and McDonalds, you barely have room to put houses in this town.

Based on your comment, I assume you take my opinions personally and perhaps professionally. Perhaps you, a parent or sibling works there. I'm guessing you aren't behind the pharmacy counter. Maybe a clerk. Maybe even a shift manager, but neither store nor corporate management. (Nestled in Illinois, walgreen corporate is miles away from Washington.) Maybe you are made up by someone "trolling" sites to stir up emotions. Either way, you've provided me a nice amusement for the night. Thanks and drop me a line anytime.

P.S. Cheer up and stop feeling sad for me. Ya make it sound like I've blasphemed against your god or something. One day, my way of life will creep into you. Apathy and cynicism will take over. You'll stop identifying yourself with a corporation. You'll think back on your comment and laugh. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. (apologies to Murray Burnett and Joan Alison)

Okay, that was way more effort than was needed, but it was fun. Thank you and goodnight.

2003-04-10T22:23:00.000-05:00

Frustration at work

Help me out, folks. Amongst my various duties, I do computer support, sometimes for our employees who use laptops with internet access. Let me know if it is hard to understand the following: "Don't use the icon for the 1-800 number if there is a local number. It costs us a lot more money. When you travel, just let me know where you're going and I'll give you the local number to dial."

Evidently the need to dial different numbers when you travel is highly confusing and I'm just making it hard on purpose. I lost a half hour of my life hearing how "that isn't how [office mate's name] does it. You've got me totally confused. What are you saying. Are you sure we have to do that." Once again, I was late getting home for dinner because some people don't listen until you say what they want to hear. Grrrrrrrr.

In the name of science and good eats

Last weekend I started a large number of seeds. Three sorts of tomatoes, cayenne, jalapeno, and more.

Some of each I put into an unheated plastic box with a clear lid.
Others I put into a similar box, but with a heating pad. The seeds in the heated box are definitely coming up faster. I am hoping they'll be ready to put into the ground by early May.

In the meantime, I'm constructing raised beds. I guess I'll do anything to reduce the amount of yard I'll have to mow.

2003-04-10T16:07:00.000-05:00

Goodbye youth.

I just found a gray hair on my knuckle.

White shorts hiked up to my chest, black socks and vinyl wingtips can't be far behind.

I'm suddenly wondering if Matlock is playing on the television tonight.

2003-04-07T23:35:00.000-05:00

If I wasn't scared to eat out before...

I have successfully registered for "CUL 1020 Sanitation and Safety" at Nashville Tech. Everyone I know, but one, thinks this will be a boring class. I'm rather excited. Of course, I'm already prone to noticing health hazards now. Imagine how paranoid I'll become!

This is a radical departure from my previous Associate's Degree in Microcomputer Data Processing (or something like that). I may actually enjoy the Culinary degree more.

The summer class lasts a smidge more than a month and meets 3 days a week. Hopefully it will be at a college reading level. The government education material I've been reading kinda has that 8th grade feeling. (example pictured to the right courtesy Food Safety and Inspection Service, USDA.) I can't really knock the information and its presentation all that much. It is designed to reach the largest audience possible and I applaud their effort. The simple but vital information within may cause fewer older folks killed by potato salad at church events.

2003-04-05T05:27:00.000-06:00

I just sent an email for $30

I can't believe I just signed up for Classmates.Com to send one email. It freakin costs $30, and after the fact, I realized that the person I want to get in touch with probably isn't a "gold member". He'll have to plunk down the cash as well... if he finds it worth doing. How dumb am I?

Furthermore, why the hell am I dredging up a past that is best left buried? A decade ago, I dropped out (one semester before graduating -- how dumb was that!), then went to a different school (and dropped out again). Then I finally got in gear and did rather well during my second senior year at a third school. I've only bothered keeping up with one person from my highschool days. Of course, I'd have to, since she's my wife! I was far too glad to cast everyone else off. They were too closely tied with baggage I needed to dump. Now I'm trolling through the dreary past and trying to make contact with someone who knew me when I was at my lowest, most worthless point.

But why? What are my expectations? What am I trying to achieve? I don't know. Am I trying to prove myself to someone who knew me then? "Hey, look! You guys were wrong. I'm not on public assistance or living in my Mom's basement. I've got a real job and am a functional human being."

See! A few minutes of wallowing in the past and I'm a pathetic wreck requiring some sort of approval. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to put on a cardigan and stand in front of a mirror now. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like me.

2003-03-28T02:27:00.000-06:00

How to set a price on the intangible

Thank heavens it isn't genetic
I was raised by my grandparents from the earliest point I remember up till I was 16. Reviewing my childhood, I sometimes think they divided their time equally between buying things at flea markets and selling things at yard sales. My grandmother, the driving force of the phenomenon actually kept a permanent setup for selling things in the basement. This woman would sell anything! As a kid, I just assumed everyone had their own price label guns. Nothing was safe. I'd sneak into the display bins (yes, there were display cases in our basement) and steal back my own toys that had gone missing a few weeks prior to the sale. Some grannies have bingo addiction, mine had a hard case of garage sale fever.

Perhaps I should seek therapy. A victim of her obsession, I still remember the embarassment of my outgrown underwear on display. No, I'm not kidding and yes, people did buy it! Honestly folks, who buys used underwear, even for little children? Ugh. It takes two to play the game. For every seller there must be a buyer. I'm sure the device that strings beans had been through many homes before and after theirs. If you've got it now, I guess you shouldn't break the tradition. Spring is here, so get out some signs and lure in the next generation.

Garage sales as a psychological marker
Garage sales can say a lot about a person. For the most part, these sales would indicate that my grandparents cycled through a lot of junk. They must also have had an aversion to throwing things away. After my grandfather died, there were a few big blowout sales before we moved to a smaller house. The items from these sales were different from the usuall run of the mill crap. I couldn't appreciate at the time (age 11) how hard paring down a lifetime of belongings could be. I've hardly ever thought back to those days. I've always wanted to scream when I considerd how she sold all the antiques (for cheap) and kept mostly things that were new. If she had to lighten the load, why not keep the cool stuff?

Today, for the first time, I've considered what she chose to sell from a new perspective. Perhaps she was purging these things as an attempt at moving on? Is this why she kept the ugly rooster lamp whilst selling cranberry glass plates for 50 cents per? She passed away last year, so I can only guess at her motives. Not an overly introspective person, she'd probably have laughed at me for suggesting this, anyway.

Genesis of the theory
Today I saw a collection of antiques for sale at Cool Springs mall. I zoomed past most of the stands, but stopped dead in my tracks. There I spotted a collection of antiques that started this sappy journey into the past. It seemed like the entire collection of the "cool stuff" from her garage sales had been reassembled. I stared at several items, each bringing back a series of memories. I adored all those pieces as a kid, and I want them now. I have to settle for my new theory and a new found respect for what she did.

In conclusion
Theories are one thing and facts another. All in all, there is only one cold hard truth I'm left with. She made about a hundred bucks on the whole collection of cranberry glass, depression glassware, and frosted pink serving dishes. I could have bought a similar collection today for about a thousand. Let this be a lesson to us all.

2003-03-23T23:34:00.000-06:00

Unique lines for beggars

We've all had this one, "We're passing through town and the car broke down a few blocks away. My baby and wife are in the car and I need a few bucks to pay for some food and a tow truck."
Of course, this one is thwarted by offering to call a tow truck.

I've been lucky/unclucky enough to get some novel approaches. Here are some examples:

While pumping gas at the Exxon near Union Station a thin guy in a overcoat runs up to me and declares, "It's not the color of your skin, it's what is in yo' heart." As he said this, he pointed to his hand and then his heart. He thrust his hand forward once more, this time palm up, "Gimme three dollah".

Eating at the Taco Bell on Harding, I quietly asked my wife to please not make eye contact with this woman who was hovering nearby. Of course, this made her curious to peep at whatever I was talking about. Bang, eye contact! This woman had a very confused, yet practiced story about her house burning down and her children staing with this lady and how she needed a ride to Bellvue, since there was a church there, and... and... and...
I asked if she'd thought about the Cathedral on West End, which was much closer. She said they'd turned her away. My bullshit detector had already overloaded and this was getting ridiculous. Her story was supposed to garner pity. The story alone didn't. However, I did pity her just from watching how she eyed my food. We bought her a burrito, but refused to take her anywhere.
And today... perhaps the first time anyone driving a car ever begged money from me. The craziest thing is, her opening line was nearly running me over in Target's parking lot. Once again, the story delivered was designed to elicit pity. She'd been up for hours driving from Cookville or somewhere and... [blah, blah, blah, repeat about the time awake] and she was out of gas, but her money was home (or something) and she was sooo embarassed. I fumbled in my pocket, then asked my wife if she had a dollar. We refused to hand over anything large, but the lady got some change for her trouble.

Of all of these, my favorite was the "color of your skin" guy, because he didn't pretend to be anything he wasn't. The others all made listen to a drawn out, "I've never begged before, so this is so difficult" routine.

Beyond the annoyance of being accosted, beggars put me into a quandary. I don't mind giving, but do hate having to be the judge of whether someone is a member of the "deserving poor". I doubt I'll ever figure out what to do.

And now for something completely different...

Random thoughts...
I miss the dine-in Pizza Hut by the Cathedral. The service was good. Anyone other than me ever notice how the lamps above the booths were way too bright and too close to the table? I always felt like I was being interrogated.

I miss the IHOP that is now a Vandy parking lot.

The speed bumps on 51st North really suck. You can't drive the legally posted limit. God forbid someone should need an ambulance!

Farmer's Market is a great place to have lunch. Especially in this nice spring weather. Try the Gyro sandwich there. Yum.

I really want a Gerst Haus fishbowl right now. That'd hit the spot.

My guilty admission of the day: I like it when the Nashville Symphony plays something I've heard before.

Hey, I did mention these were random thoughts. As usual, most of my internal monologue seems to be about food.

2003-03-21T23:17:00.000-06:00

Modified blogger template

I've modified the default template. I think it looks good. Of course, I'm not a designer. I'd like to play with the indents between my headlines and the rest of the text, but I'll save that for another time.

What were you looking for?

People come to this blog for the craziest things. If you actually came to this page on purpose, I'm curious at to why? So far, the most popular searches leading people here are for mini-skirts, java games, and most lately "walgreens sucks". I guess I'm not the only one who has had a problem with walgreens. Send me an email at polyblog-@-yahoo.com. (Remove dashes) One of these days, I'm gonna get a comment poster or move this to xanga.com that already includes comments.

2003-03-21T22:25:00.000-06:00

A case of "the stares"

Must work... mind numb. Mussst keeeeep going.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2003-03-16T23:26:00.000-06:00

So blog, already!

You asked for it and I'm answering. At least the two people who check my blog asked.
I haven't posted recently. I haven't had much to say. Instead of somthing thought provoking, here are random thoughts listed in a random order...

I've been playing host... to germs

This week I've been recovering from a generic respiratory infection, probably bronchitis. My old doctor pretty much knew I get bronchitis every once or twice each year and pneumonia every other. I'd just call and ask for a prescription to be sent to my pharmacy and he'd do it. He retired and sold the practice. This time I had to make an appointment, wait a day (in pain), go through the motions and pay money to get the prescription. A nurse took my temperature and the dr. asked a couple questions and listened to my chest. Then he informed me that I had some sort of something that would take a bit more work to name. Instead of doing that, how about have a broad spectrum antibiotic. I've really got to break the new guy in.

Target pharmacy rocks, Walgreens sucks

Walgreen sucks, part I
Two or three years ago I had a real whiz-bang hellish case of bronchitis. So I called my dr. and got the prescription sent to Walgreens early that morning. By noon they still hadn't filled it. My wife went to pick it up at 1 and they told her to come back in a couple hours. At 3, I called and was told it was being processed and to call back later. At 4, I called and with what strenght I could muster, I demanded an explanation. They lost the prescription and wanted me to get it called in again. By the time I could get the dr's office to call again, it was the next morning.

Walgreen sucks, part II
While waiting a long, long time for a prescription to be filled at Walgreens, I stuck my arm in one of those free blood pressure machines. I pressed the button and the cuff inflated to a painful embrace. Now in the clutches of this felt boa constrictor, a recorded voice came from a speaker. "Welcome to Walgreens, where you'll find ...". After a lengthy lesson on specials in the store, the cuff began its releasing its grip in stages. The reading was just starting. The bastards had me trapped. If I was going to get the reading, then by heavens I'd have to hear the ad. Needless to say, my pressure wasn't normal at that point.

Walgreen sucks, part III
Walgreens is also the pharmacy that wouldn't fill my wife's prescription for "the pill". "The computer says you are a man," the pharmacist told her, "you'll need to call this number and have them straighten it out." How is it the customer's job to fix a problem internal to the company being patronized? Grrr. They may have a location every half mile down West End, but they aren't convenient. My advice is to stay the hell away from this sucky chain.

Target pharmacy rules
I've been taking my prescription to Target. It is ready within 10 minutes and I've never had any hassles. This last visit, I got a $10 gift card for filling a prescription with them. Today when I got home, there was a message on my answering machine from them asking if I had any questions. How cool is that!

Nashville Tech's Culinary Degree

Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Alton Brown's Good Eats. I've signed up for the culinary degree at Nashville Tech, er, excuse me, Nashville State. I missed getting signed up for Spring since I figured I'd be swamped with to many other things. I'll always be swamped, so I've decided to stop putting it off. I can hardly wait for summer semester to begin. No romantic ideas of being a great chef, just a desire to cook well.

If things go well, in a few years I may consider Johnson and Wales. I wonder if they'll honor the scholarship they gave me in 1993? Probably not. (It was for electronics anyway.)

2003-02-22T22:25:00.000-06:00

Cold Readers - a cruel parlor game

I really like what James Randi has to say about cold readers like Sylvia Brown. Go, Dude, Go!

I can read just as well as most of the TV readers can. (Though not as well as Sylvia) If I wanted to, I bet I could even believe in mystical powers. In reality, I've got no powers beyond the earthly ones. An active, leaping imagination and a life spent listening and watching. There isn't anything new in the human condition, I just have to suck in anything available and match patterns.

For example: The office intern seemed preoccupied one day. An hour earlier, she'd mentioned going to a friend's for study group the next day. The friend lived a couple hours away. "So, you thinkin' about telling your mom you want to get a head start and leave as soon as you get off work? Nothing like being fresh to start studying." Looking up from the paperwork, she wondered how I knew what she was contemplating. Hey, what college kid wouldn't dream up excuses to get away early, but I wasn't going to say that.

"Yeah, so when you go, it doesn't have anything to do with...". I had to come up with a name, a look of minor concentration... "oh, what, oh," stare at her a second, "anything to do with a young Mr.-Michael-with-a-nice-smile, does it"? A little slackjawed for the moment, she said her friend was going with a Michael, but that he was setting her up with a buddy she'd had her eye on. The buddy did have a nice smile. Throwing in the random bit about a smile carried the gamble. To her, I had the right guy. She just handed me everything I needed to go far further, but one more item was enough to achieve what I was going for. "Well, I trust you to be careful. Just don't have too much beer at the party". Voila, instant psychic. WOW! I'd just correctly "divined" that a college freshman was scheming to go out of state with limited supervision, party hard and meet a boy with a nice smile.

If I was Sylvia, I could have charged her $700. (The going rate on her website for a single reading) Then I would have been obligated to make the warning about drinking a bit more ominous. As it was, I snuck that in since I really like the young lady and didn't want to see her get hurt.

Do I regret that little trick? No. Would I do it again? Probably not. I don't like the set of peers that would put me in. I don't want to cross the line from silly fun to cruel parlor trick. I see what that sick man who "talks with the beyond" does to people. Plays them like instruments for fun and profit. Not only is he bad at reading, he abuses his subject when they don't play along. When they do play along, he gives them a load of mush and exploits their emotional weakness. He is a bastard. The only thing he "crossed over" is the line of human decency.

Anyway, go look at the J Randi site. While you do that, I think I'll go use my telekenetic powers to get a coca-cola.

2003-02-08T15:14:00.000-06:00

It's alive!

The new linux box is alive and well. Now to run updates and get the palm working.

2003-02-08T14:26:00.000-06:00

Halloooo Linux!

My darling uses the computer to surf, email, pay bills and type letters. She doesn't want to think about the software that makes these things happen. The tool should fit the task. She should fit squarely in the Mac demographic. However, her first experience with Mac was in the bad old days before OSX and she won't touch them. I was suprised when my sales pitch to convert the family pc to linux was not only endorsed, but became a command.

We both like the price as well as the features bundled with Redhat 8. Open Office does everything we need it to. Ximian is an outlook-like program. Because it has Palm support, it solved our last reservation about switching.

I do think that bluecurve is a slight dip into an unfortunate trend in interface design, but not done nearly so bad some others. OSX and ME are in the forefront of the race to make ridiculous "skins" for their products. The swirling, glossy, jelly bean styled window dressing is gross, yet gaining prevalance. Why? Does anyone like using an interface designed by William J. Wonka? Ooops, we're starting to get close to my rant about DVD menus. I'll stop here.

Next post will be from the linux box. (Building it now on the other pc)

2003-02-05T19:07:00.000-06:00

Those wacky Brits

Britain legalizes sex in public places if you exercise reasonable care not to be seen...but not if you film it without a permit!

On a serious note, there are two newspapers I find superior. Washington Post and the Telegraph group of papers. I'd love to see how they pull it all off.

Beer Chronicles, part II

I've been working my way through the Flying Saucer's list of beers. There are a few of note.

Pete's Stawberry Blonde - Avoid this beer at all costs unless you like the idea of melting jolly ranchers into a wine cooler.
Belhaven Scottish ale - Oh, where have you been all my life, you smooth and creamy beer. Yippeee. I'd never had a beer with a caramel-like flavor before.
Rasputin stout - I suggest drinking this on an empty stomach and to smile at the ceiling for the next while. Wow this is a strong beer, but tasty. This is a beer with "character".
My actuall advice, if you visit the saucer, is to drink this one first and with one of their deli sandwiches.
Woodchuck Pear cider - Blah, I think they bought their vats from the guys who make Bazooka Joe. Woodchuck makes a great Apple cider, so I'm assuming that this tastes like it should. I just don't like the bubble gum flavor.

No, Mom, I didn't have these all at the same time. Nor did I jump into my truck and swerve my way homewards.

Escape in sight...

Like many others before me, I think I've stumbled on a scheme that could free me from corporate America. Down with The Man!
Now, I just need the balls to go through with it...

2003-01-14T10:08:00.000-06:00

Dead fish aren't much fun

I never thought I could get bummed out about a dead fish. After sitting around moping last night, I've figured it out. Even if it is a fish, watching something die is sad. Especially when I've taken on the duty of caring for it.

I'm heading in to work late. Looks like I need to get medicine for my fish. I started with three tinfoil barbs. They had babies. (Nearly impossible to breed. They probably got in the mood when I messed with the tanks temperature. I did that when I added an angelfish, and two plecos.) A couple weeks ago one of the tinfoils died. Now a second one is alternately dragging the bottom and perking up for a few minutes. He has visible black spots. I've read enough to know I've got to take care of this or lose all of them. Were the pests always there, or did I bring them in with the added fish? Could I have recognized this sooner? I dunno, I just hope the medicine kicks in quick enough. I doubt he'll last another night.

Speaking of animal care

Just remembered I need to go feed my Mom's dogs while she is away. Don't want her coming back to thin labradors. I'd better tie a string to my finger. Knowing me, I'd better tie a note to the string, too.

2002-12-30T23:11:00.000-06:00

Predators defeat Senators!

It was my privilige to watch the Nashville Predators win a reasonably well played hockey game. I want to know what they were thinking getting into a fight with seconds left on the clock. Powerplay when a goal could cost overtime! Are you crazy?

This is the first game I've been able to see a game this season and I hope to see more. I tried to get tickets to the RedWings and couldn't. One of the things I noticed tonight was our shots-on-goal was higher. Way to go. That's needed work for a long time.

I think there were a few times that Ottowa really should have scored but for
1. dumb luck
2. lack of having someone to take the shot

Even so, I note that our defense is improving. We need more players like Kimmo Timonen. He is my hero.

I didn't catch the number of the poor fellow who's stick broke when he tried to take a shot. (Picture that kid on the Simpsons saying, "Ha-Ha".)

and now for something completely different...

Good Idea/Bad Idea

Good idea: Page the tech support guy on call (me) when something goes wrong.
Bad idea: Argue with him.

Honestly, why do people think I get paid? So they can page me during a hockey game and then indicate that I'm less capable at solving their problem than they are, evidently. This begs the question I didn't ask... "Why the hell did you call me if you're such a freakin' computer guru"?

Tip: Don't call the computer guy if you aren't going to follow his instructions. If you do, you're just being an ass.

Maybe I'm just stewing because I had to leave the game to make the return call for no damned reason.

2002-12-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

The Two Towers

Okay, saw the film. What can I say... I had no idea that Nashville and Mordor were the same place. They must be, since they have the same tower. Well call it the Bellsouth building now. The film was great. The effects were great. Smeagal/Golem was superb. As a 3d model / animation hobbyist (hence the blog name Polygon) I really enjoyed it. The walking trees rocked!

I did notice one throw-away effect that was good, but not as high quality as the rest. Look for Legolas being swept onto a horse after firing an arrow. Cool, but not the smoothest thing they did in the movie. Even that was definitely better than most effects in other movies. The Keep was fantastic. I haven't seen how much of it was CG yet.

The story was okay as well. I'd have prefered to have seen more changes in the characters and seen the quest progress, but that wouldn't have been keeping with the book. (I admit I haven't read the books, but I've compared notes with those who have.)

Final Judgement: Go see it. Even I'm glad I endured seeing it on the big screen, which is saying a lot! Nicely leading to...
RANT ALERT
I'd probably have enjoyed the film more if the surround sound hadn't popped out several times and the picture been placed entirely on the screen. As it was, a portion of the image was leaking off the bottom of the screen. You'd think that being new, Opry Mills would still be on the ball. This is the fourth time I've seen a movie there, and the third time this happened. The worst at this location was a showing of Monster's Inc. Harry Potter, however, was projected without incident.

This is still nothing like when I went to see the first Lord of the Rings in the electric whorehouse at 100 Oaks. (Thats what my wife calls it) The film broke just as Frodo puts on the ring and scampers up the hill. Nobody came in to apologize and tell us when the show would be continued. We sat patiently for a while. 15 minutes later, I went to the front desk. I won't bother detailing how unhelpful the five year old manager was. 10 minutes later someone came in and informed us it'd be a while. I've take my business elsewhere since.

What have your movie experiences been like in Nashville and elsewhere? Am I just super sensitive and cursed? I'll be trying to get an automatic blog comment gizzie going soon, but in the meantime email me. Let me know if it is okay to post your replies.

Now with new and improved extra bonus rant
P.S. Roger Ebert can kiss my ass. Digital projection needs to be brought in now! I'm sure he gets to see films on nice virgin prints under ideal situations. Whoopie-Doo for him! By the time I see a print, its gone through hell. He is actually moronic enough to say comparing a showing of Star Wars projected digitally against another film shown via film is biased since the Star Wars was all digital to begin with.
A) Point to a recent popular movie on film that didn't get digitized before going to film.
B) After the umpteenth showing, is any print going to look as good? No.
C) After five billion showings, is digital going to look as good? Yes.
D) Roger, don't take that ass thing literally, okay. I loves ya, babe.

2002-12-18T04:33:00.000-06:00

I should have eaten the nachos. No worry about eating too close to bedtime. 5 or 6 days of the week I can't get much more than 3 hours sleep. Today seems to be worse than most.

Maybe its the news that my ISP, DirectTVDSL, is going under. Now I have to find a new broadband ISP, available in Nashville, that isn't bad. I want a static IP, 256-ish upload, 1028-ish down, server acceptable specified in agreement, no blocking of VPN, email, yadda yadda yadda.

BTW: I'm a curse. I signed up for @Home about 3 months before its toes curled up, too.

Hopefully I'll stay awake through Lord of the Rings, which the lovely Mrs. has talked me into seeing on opening day. What is she thinking? At least we are going to see it midday. We'll only have to deal with the hard-core, staff-carrying, robe-wearing crowd. I hate going to cinema. I'll list my detailed complaints some other time. Sufficing for now....

Fuzzy Image
Popping speakers as surround sound comes and goes
Film breaks
Noisy patrons

Yep, I think the Mrs. is going to owe me for this. I'm gonna buy her a plaid mini skirt for Christmas!!!

2002-12-18T01:48:00.000-06:00

I can't remember what I was going to prove to my boss. I'm sure it was a news article, but damn if I can remember. I remember all the other stupid conversational points from the night. Remove topics that didn't revolve around plaid skirts on women who bring me beer, stupid coworkers, and there isn't much to remember.

In the meantime.. my two cents on a nerd topic. Microsoft should bundle Sun's Java, rather than their own "VM".
"Why", you ask. To answer that, I'll ask a question.

Why does Microsoft bother developing a VM to substitute for one that consumers can receive freely? (A waste of their own resources if they are replicating a free product for the good of humainty.)
My answer: To exercise control over a portion of the market they don't currently strangle and to maintain hold on what they've got. The more software is developed in Java, the more likely you can move to Linux or OSX without noticing.

There isn't anything new in Java. The bytecode, the virtual CPU, object oriented programming, everything is borrowed. However, the specific amalgamation is all Sun's. They are the masters of JAVA and what it promises. For those who don't know, that promise is freedom for software developers and end users.
--Write a program in Java, it'll work on any computer regardless of operating system or hardware. (write once, sell to everyone)
--Buy a program written in Java, you can use it on Linux, Windows, OSX, etc... (buy once, carry with you even as you move to Linux)

What makes Microsoft wrong? The "Microsoft VM for Java" is a partly compatible, bastard version and distributed as a subsitute for JAVA.
Consider these points to back up that claim:

1. The current Sun Java is 1.4. (Called Java2)
2. Microsoft's VM is based on Sun's Java 1.1.
3. Microsoft's behind the times version is referred to as "version 4"

Monkeying with version numbers aside, if it isn't 100% compatible, it isn't universal. If it isn't universal, it isn't going to inspire consumer confidence in what JAVA promises. This confidence is lost in Sun's JAVA, not from the strengths and weakneses of their own product, but because of Microsoft's. And that, my friends, is beyond acceptable business practice.

Sincerly yours,
Tired of being Gates' bitch

2002-12-17T23:00:00.000-06:00

Today I indugle in a form of narcissism. I begin a blog. I'm at work sobering up before going home. Two things are across the street from work that make my life, well... fattening. The exxon is in view of my office. I sit and try to write programs, but the nachos call my name. Just a short walk from there is Union Station. Attached to it is The Flying Saucer

I now sit in my office, sobering up before the drive home. Part of this blog will be the chronicle of my liver's demise.
THE BEER CHRONICLE version1.0
Today my very special beer goddess was very cute. She was even deemed so before I had my first beer. I've never been so drunk as to blurt sexist remarks to them. Hopefully I don't leer, but I couldn't say for sure. Lord, what those Catholic schoolgirl skirts do to me.
Anyway... today brought a special. Bring a canned good for the Second Harvest food drive, and the Saucer reciprocates with a free draught beer. Any draught except some beer that they serve in a champagne flute (lah-de-dah)

I was going to get a Whitbread, but the beer goddess talked me into getting something more expensive. I got a Paulaner Salvatore, only to realize that I'd had it before and didn't like it much. It tastes primarily of alcohol, then a few other flavors come in.

I was going to follow that by trying a beer mix called Pair of Tits, but they were out of one of the beers it is composed of. It was fun asking for it, though.
Instead I got a mix the lovely beer goddes recommened. Cream of Wheat, which is a mix of Guinness and Hoegardden (spelling?) It is a smooth mix. I'm more fond of Murphy's Stout, but I never turned down Guinness.

I'm supposed to look up a news article to prove to my boss (also in attendance at the saucer tonight) that I wasn't telling a tall tale. Unfortunately, I can't remember what I was babbling about at the time. I'll ponder it and blog the response later.

Now that I've bored you to tears, check out a real blog. Medeasin is authored by an introspective essayist. More of a frank journal than a regurgitation of links. I often leave his site with a thought to ponder. (I should be lucky if I can think of a joke worth posting.) He's encountered one of the little gotchas that has kept me from blogging before. People from work stumbling onto your site. Yikes. Anyway, voyeurs like me should check it out.

I think I can hear the nachos calling me. Perhaps I should resist so close to bedtime. I'm sure they'll be waiting for me tommorrow or the next day. (Kind of a gross thought, eh.)